Karen Rivers

on boots and books.

Karen Rivers

During the editing of any book, I always buy a new pair of boots.   And I don't just BUY boots, I HUNT boots.   I spend hours trolling the internet for The Perfect Boots (tm) and then more hours finding them for the best price with the most coupons, or better yet, on eBay, where "buying" is "WINNING" and thus even BETTER than just purchasing boots from Zappos.   It all takes time.

Hours that may be better spent, you know, WRITING.   

But... but... but...

I can't help it.   Boots are my lolcats.   YOU can haz a cheezeburger.   I wantz da boots.

The truly funny part of this is that my feet are so damaged from a lifetime of wearing too many high-heeled boots that I can only wear most of the boots that I own for short periods of time before starting to weep from pain and dreaming about lighting the boots on fire (do boots burn?) and/or mulching them with a woodchipper and/or throwing them in the sea and then being barefoot for the rest of my life.  Then I have to go on to fantasize about living somewhere with a climate that allows this sort of barefootedness.   Then I have to spend some time searching for real estate that would fit the bill.   Real estate hunting is even more labor intensive than boot hunting!   I mean, there are a lot of things to consider:  Swimming pool or tennis court?   Ocean front or views for miles?   

THEN MY EDITOR KILLS ME.  

Wait! No! He/she does not!  He/she is busy buying their own boots and/or tropical island getaways!  Maybe!   I mean, probably!  Who DOESN'T buy boots/vacation homes when they should be working? (Exactly.)

So because I'm editing right now, I thought the best possible use of my time, after forcing myself to NOT buy boots (or houses) would be to collect up all my boots and line them up on the stairs and take a blurry picture of them with my phone.   

Behold, BOOTS ON MY STAIRS:

Oh, lovely boots.    

It's all just part of the process*.   Some authors will say that they are very disciplined and DO NOT spend any of their writing time buying boots/fantasy homes but I prefer to believe that these authors are lying.  

And pretty please don't tell me otherwise.   Because then I might be forced to think that I'm doing it wrong.   Gasp!  And who knows what demons THAT might unleash.    

 

* If your process does NOT include procrastination then... well... I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.   So there.