Karen Rivers

who we are, who we would rather be.

Karen Rivers

She said, "Hiking the West Coast Trail was the best experience of my life."  

And I said, "Oh!  I've always wanted to do that."  

This is a lie.  A huge, massive lie.

And she said, "So why don't you?"   

Why don't I?  WHY DON'T I?

Well.

Because.

The truth is that I do NOT want to hike the West Coast Trail.   I am scared of heights.  Crawling across a log bridge over a river sounds about as fun to me as oral surgery or birthing a calf.   The ladders would terrify me.   The bugs would eat me.   I'd be allergic to everything.   Especially the mud.   And the miles and miles of ... walking.  

The beach at the end of the West Coast Trail looks pretty nice.   It's basically a photo waiting to happen.   I'd like to go there, put a blanket down, and sit and stare at the sea.   Take a few pictures.   Maybe read a book.  

I like the woods.   As in, I like to wander veeeery slowly through forests and look at things.   My favourite part of camping is the part where there is sitting and campfires.  

I'll take sitting* over donning serious attire and marching meaningfully forward at a brisk pace anytime.    

Also, when I walk at a brisk pace, my legs itch.

But I want to be a person who wants to hike the West Coast Trail.    I want to try that person on for size.   I think that if I were that person, I'd have a healthy glow.   I'd exude good health.  I'd be well-hydrated.  I'd know a series of hikers' stretches that I'd perform without falling over.   I'd drink tea made from random plants and wouldn't accidentally poison myself.   I'd be capable.  

I'd be Sean Connery in that movie about the bear, where he kills it with a stick -- WHAT ONE MAN CAN DO ANOTHER CAN DO! -- only I wouldn't kill bears with sticks.  That seems mean and also more than a little dangerous.   Maybe I'd be more like the Bear Whisperer, but not totally crazy and at the end, the bears wouldn't eat me.   At the very least, I wouldn't be actively terrified of bears.

If I were a person who DID want to hike the West Coast Trail, would I be less of a liar?      

 

* I read somewhere recently (probably on Twitter) that sitting is the new smoking.   SITTING!  IS!  THE!  NEW!  SMOKING!   Perhaps should have some hypnosis done to rid me of this ugly "sitting" habit before it's too late.